Another Dad update...

Here I am again doing another update wishing that I truly wasn't.  When my life is somewhat normal & going smoothly I tend to just "blog tomorrow or another day".  But, I can't sleep.  I don't have my normal appetite, & don't really have much I want to do or even think about; accept my Dad.

Since my last blog post a lot has happened.  I am going to keep this one as brief as possible.  

I last left off that Dad wasn't doing the best after surgery & that he had to go back into surgery to have some unexplained blood drained/fixed post bypass surgery.  This all took place on Thursday.  Friday he was very ill all day.  Feeling somewhat better but began at some point during the afternoon being very nauseated & not himself.  We thought it may be his medications or even blood sugar because he is so out of whack right now.   Eventually after he was monitored closely they saw his heart beat was really abnormal & not steady.  His heart rate was beating super fast jumping from the 110's to the 150's/160's back down to the low 105's every second.  The monitored him all day Friday & throughout that evening.  Hist blood pressure was very low.

Early morning they decided that his heart had gone into what they call "a-fip" which is atrial fibrillation.  This is where his heart was just beating at crazy back & forth rates while his blood pressure was super low.  Way to low.  This was when I got a call from my Mom & soon made my way to the hospital at 3am. They were very concerned.  I could tell she was uneasy & couldn't rest soundly so my brother & I both made our way to calm her spirit.  

This continued through the early morning into Saturday.  He was VERY sick on Saturday.  Uncomfortable, wouldn't eat, thought he was going to be sick all day.  His heart would jump the same this day as well.  It was very concerning to the staff in ICU but they gave him the proper medications & watched it to ensure nothing would go wrong.  They tried to give him medications to control his blood pressure as well as his heart rate.  

By Sunday they realized he was now in what they call "a-flutter" which is worse than the "a-fip".  At this point he was so uncomfortable & they were so concerned that they contacted the heart doctor to come take a look.  They decided to move forward with shocking his heart to try to get it back into normal rhythmic patterns.  

I arrive at the hospital distraught, to be honest how I have been since Wednesday evening before he even entered the hospital.  I feel like since he has been there he has had so many roller coaster things go on.  Why has this been happening I have often asked myself daily?  In my mind he was going to have his heart surgery, heal & go home.  Not the case for my poor Daddy.  He has had one thing after the other & has had to fight with everything he has to keep his eyes on God & solely Him.  And that he has done. 

When I arrived at the hospital today, Sunday morning I had a moment with Dad alone.  We hadn't yet told him he was going to be shocked because didn't want to upset him or make him nervous & cause his heart to go up even more.  He just looked at me with tears in his eyes & said, "Ashley I am so balmy feeling, I just can't seem to shake this, I'm so tired."  I immediately leaned over him & quoted Isaiah 26:3 that my cousin gave to me that morning & prayed out loud over him with my hand over his heart.  I held tears back because I couldn't tell him that he was about to have his heart shocked, but I tried to remain strong & a rock for him. He just held my hand & listened as I prayed.

The doctor came in to shock him this morning & again, we lost it.  My brother, Mom & I stood outside of the ICU doors balling again clinching on to our God that we new would AGAIN prevail.  We just prayed out loud to him as we have been for days asking him to make this moment happen for Dad to get his heart back on track & take this final moment of pain from him so he could be on the road to full recovery.  My Mom left for a second & my brother went to the bathroom & I lost it.  I realized no one was in the waiting room so I started praying out loud.  I literally prayed for his grace as loud as I could asking Him to just do this!  I trusted He would, took a big huge fresh breath of air & just sat still.  I didn't know what else to do but trust... which is what we are supposed to do. But how can you NOT be having all of these thoughts in your head?  I started thinking what if, what is going on, when will the doctor come out.  My brother came back & so did Mom & not even 5 minutes later the doctor walked in & said, "He is fine, we did it"... Literally that one shock knocked his heart back into normal rhythmic pattern.  

In that moment my brother took my breath away.  We often times pray for those big mountains to just be over & pray when we need something. But he reminded us that we need to praise God now in that moment for helping Dad's heart be back on track.  We all grabbed each other again & immediately started praying together out loud praising Him for allowing Dad to be healed.  We praised Him for his healing & thanked Him for giving us strength & for getting Dad through this moment of terror, in our minds.  

We went back into the room to see Dad moments later & while he was still heavily sedated he was alert & said, "I think I'm going to feel better now".  We just giggled because he was so optimistic & truly felt better in that second after getting his heart rate back to normal; he could finally relax.  TODAY was progress.  This afternoon he was in good spirits, laughed, cracked several smiles, actually talked to us, & sat up & ate again.  They took 3 of the billion tubes out & he is now starting to move along with healing.  

We continue to ask for your prayers & ask God to heal him.  He will remain in ICU for a few more days until his heart rate is steady until they move him to another floor.  This is way more than I ever thought was going to happen to my Dad.  I wasn't prepared for this whole process nor was I prepared that my faith was going to be challenged.  I am telling you, if there was ever a time in my life that God was saying, "HELLO"... it's now.  And not only have I learned that we need to pray for his almighty powers to be present in the storms, but in the good!  We can't just let life pass us by asking for help.  We have to THANK HIM for our homes, cars, food, friends, smiles, bodies, health, relationships... I have not taken this ordeal with Dad lightly & forever have been changed by it.  I have never been on the floor begging for God's mercy until now, and what a shame.  I should be begging Him for mercy & grace daily & praising Him 24/7 for his love & devotion to me... each morning when I wake up.  For my life, my breath, my heart... 

I am forever changed.  Perfect?  No. Changed?  Yes.  God has healed not only the sick,  but the hurt.  

BLESSED!