...So Chad has been out of town for several days on the other side of the states working with his new company. Although I had some wonderful parents & friends to assist with my single parenting, I still was out of my normal routine & missed Chad like crazy. Not only was I out of routine but my hormones were out of wack; and of all stinkin' weeks!
Day 1 of him being gone Avery kept me up all night. She wasn't sleeping & I literally slept 2 hours at best. No nap this day for Avery, (or me).
Day 2 of him being gone she was throwing tantrums like crazy. We ended up staying home & playing the entire day as I didn't have the energy to take her in public.
Day 3 of him being gone we had a follow up doc appt from her ear infection over Thanksgiving. Ya, she looks sweet in this picture, right? This was right before we left & I "assumed" we were going to have a better day. I did however love her shoes.
Before the doctor I had some time to spare & thought I would run into Khols to get a Christmas present. That lasted all of about 5 minutes. First she started rocking in her stroller, (the light weight one from target that is simple to pop up during quick trips). She almost knocked herself over in it, threw her cute new shoes off where I proceeded to lose one but later found while she was screaming, threw her passy which made it roll somewhere that I had no clue of, & screamed, "NO MUMMY" at the top of her little lungs!
Let me now just say that we have been working hard on discipline. As my daughter is only a year 1/2 she is already hitting those terrible 2's. While each stage has a great milestone & I must say, this one is really fun... days aren't just always going to be cart wheels & fairytales!
I have been working very hard to pick my spanking battles & to be very careful in how I treat each situation. It is so hard as a first time Mom because they are so young but they also know SO much & are way smarter than we give them credit for & really know how to push those buttons & what to get away with.
Anyway, Khols pushed MY buttons so bad that I lost it. Literally wanted to throw myself on the floor & have a tantrum right there in Khols when it seemed as if every person in sight was glaring at me as if I was crazy for trying the best I could in a tough situation. As I got a very rude stare from a lady I just had to pipe up & say, "Haven't you ever seen a child throw a tantrum, I am trying to get a handle on it"! I broke into tears, stormed out of the store as everyone looked at me going past the registers because my child was trying to throw herself out of my arms while I had keys in one hand, the stroller in the other, & also trying to hold her on my hip, WITH A DANG DIAPER BAG! UGGGG!
I got to the car, called my Mom, then a friend, & proceeded to cry for an hour in the parking lot along with her crying behind me. I was trying to hide it best I could! I couldn't bring myself to move. I realized I was shaking out of frustration. As I would NEVER EVER hurt my child, I was just mad. Mad at myself for not knowing what the heck just happened, mad for even being mad & not laughing about it, mad that people were staring at me, & really mad that after 2 spankings my child was still acting HORRIBLE!
As my Mom always says, "breathe, this will pass"... & then after several of my friends reassured me that I wasn't crazy & that they to go through the same things I felt normal again. I guess I just haven't had a "moment" so fierce in a long time with my sweet little blue eyed diva! Now it's starting so I just have to be strong, put that Mommy foot down, get my helmet on, & GO! Wish me luck!
After a horrible day Wednesday I decided to get some good much needed rest & prepare myself for a new day. Well, I woke up sick. Bad head cold, coughed & sneezed all night & wanted to DIE!! Avery had jammie day, (thank goodness), so I didn't have to even change her. She looked cute before school in her little jammies as I reminded myself that "this too passed"... THANK GOODNESS!
Day 4 of hubbs being gone I got myself up, made myself take a shower, made myself feel good & off we went. I took Ave to school & today was my Christmas lunch date with a few of my girls. My friend put it together for all of us & it was just fabulous! We all exchanged a gift drawing numbers & enjoyed coffee & hot chocolate, good laughs, & fun times! I needed it for sure after the few days I have had.
I picked Ave up from school and had a nice craft from her which made me smile! We looked at the fish & off we went home for a nap!
So day 5, Chad is finally home! He flew in tonight & it's been bliss so far, although I am still sick! Hoping to feel better for a full weekend ahead of Birthdays, Christmas lights, & a family Christmas dinner!
Big Hug ASHLEY!!!! Big Hug!
ReplyDeleteyou WILL have those moments when you look at your child and think "who is this person??" but i will recommend that you stay strong and discipline every time she throws fits like that. i can promise you that it wont be her last! you did the right thing by leaving the store. stay strong!! you did good!! show her that MOM IS IN CONTROL!!!!
ReplyDeleteAhhh, sounds like some really trying days. I'm always amazed how a little person can know SO well just which buttons to push! I always say that with parenting i'm in God'd gym and He is stretching me to the MAX... I must say she really does look like butter wouldn't melt, glad your hubby's home now.
ReplyDeleteBless you Ashley. Your mum is right "breathe and it will pass".... EVERY mum has been in the situation that you have and those giving bad looks must have had very abnormal children. I am sure they are not perfect. Every stage of childhood passes and my motto is to always go with your own gut instinct with your child as "YOU" know them better than anyone else. A good cry and a cuddle with your baby always helps. Happy weekend x
ReplyDeletehi ashley! i don't think i have ever commented before, but my name is emilie and i have a daughter named audrey who is the exact same age as avery. i swear, the day she turned 18 months was like a whole new world! all last week she started throwing herself on the ground throwing fits over EVERYTHING. putting her coat on, getting in the high chair, anything. thank goodness, we were home a lot last week getting over colds, so it didn't happen much in public. i completely related to this post and just wanted to say thank you so much for being so honest and open and willing to share this!
ReplyDeleteOh sweet girl, do not be hard on yourself we ALL have been there who have had kiddos, believe me....When Kelcee was almost 3 we took her to the Street Fair in our town, which I should have known was a bad idea since she hadn't had a nap, but we went and she was fine until she wanted her face painted and didn't want to have to stand in line, she didn't understand we had to wait our turn so Greg took her to watch the doggies, while I stood in line and then I heard her screaming at the top of my lungs and I got out of line knowing she was having a melt down and she was screaming I want my mommy and this lady looked at Greg and said is she lost? Greg said no she is my daughter and there is my wife there....LOL then the lady looked at me and I said she's mine she is just having a bad day....so we had to carry Kelcee to the van screaming and got a trillion evil eyes, when we got to the van I was crying and Greg and I of course didn't wanna say much to each other cause we would have probably snipped at each other and Kelcee cried all the way home 20 minutes....geezy peezy
ReplyDeleteSo girl you did a great job and you are not alone....when Kelcee has melt downs now....yup they still have them LOL I think of what my bestie said to this lady once, her little one was having a meltdown and this lady said something rude to her and she said ma'am do you have children and the lady said no and my bestie said I didn't think so hahahaha it was really really funny
Yesterday must have been the day for meltdowns,Kelcee had a MAJOR one yesterday as well....
It is hard when our hubby's are out of town, and makes me appreciate single mommies that much more geezy peezy and it seems are little ones have triple the melt downs when they are gone, I am glad Greg doesn't travel much anymore....
You look great, glad you had such a fun time with friends, gurl you deserved it,
xoxo
Sums
I'm so sorry! Sometimes people forget that their children did the same things. We haven't hit that age yet (Gray is only 4 months) but he is already arching his back when he doesn't want to do something! You do what you feel is best for Avery. I will pray for peace because we could all use a good dose of that around this time of year!
ReplyDeletei feel your pain. my hubs just got back in town after being gone for a week....of course during that time, i got sick, libbi got sick, we had no sleep, and she definitely "showed herself" a time or two in public. (i have to laugh, though, because after venting to my husband and crying and telling him all about our rough days, she is a PERFECT angel when he comes home - ha!) btw, libbi is just a few weeks younger than avery and we are seriously working on discipline right now, too. it is hard to find the right balance between what works for us and what we're comfortable with.....
ReplyDeletegood luck and hope you have some easier, more restful days!
Just hang in there.....it will pass. I do think the terrible two's start at 18 months.....they know exactly what they want, but they can't always communicate it yet, so that has to be really frustrating for them as well. Hopefully you can take a step back soon and laugh at it :) We all do the best we can and we have to let go of what other people think/the looks we get. Have a great weekend.
ReplyDeleteBless your heart! I've been there with 2 children and am starting to go through it with our 3rd child.(He's 15 months.) You're right. It passes. Though the memories of those few horrible times are still there! ha! Whew! That's some rough stuff. We gotta be strong. =) Merry Christmas!!
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is almost 2 and I've said a million times I feel like a spotlight is on me- everyone is always looking. Sometimes it is because she is so cute and doing something brilliant, but sometimes it is bad behavior. I feel like no matter what I do another woman (likely a Mom) is judging me response. It is the hardest part of parenting for me. I am certain they felt awful afterward.
ReplyDeleteOh girl, I have been there. Hang in there as these days will pass. Lots of prayers for some rest and strength!
ReplyDeleteOh Ashley, I feel the same way that you do. I am terrified to take my little boy places sometimes because I'm afraid of the meltdown that he MIGHT have and I always feel like people are staring at us. He will be 21 months in a few days and he started the tantrums at 18 months or earlier. I felt horrible for spanking him, but sometimes it's the only thing that will get his attention. It also makes me feel better that you spank too...I thought I was the only mom who did this these days! And I hardly ever do it unless he's being horrible. Hang in there!! Even though they are terrors sometimes, their cute moments outweigh all the bad moments.
ReplyDeleteWe have ALL been in this situation at one time or another! Even though we like to think that our children "would never do that" they some how always seem to prove us wrong. Your Mom is totally right though, all you can do it breathe and remind yourself that this is just a season of life. You handled the situation correctly and even if there were some tears shed or ugly words said, it was just a moment. People can be so rude sometimes and maybe the fact that you said something will make her think twice about giving a look next time and instead offering to help when she see's another Mommy in distress. Hope you have a great weekend and start feeling better soon :)
ReplyDeleteDon't be too hard on yourself. We all have had (and will have more) those moments. I think as a first time mom, we think our children are the BEST in every way not just behavior but beautiful, funny, everything. And then they get to the age where they can express their moods and sometime they are in a bad mood! When my first child would throw a tantrum like that, especially in public I just wanted to hide and at the same time I was thinking, who is this child, it isn't my little princess! But then as time passes you realize that they are expressing themselves and it is okay. Just remember that you are a wonderful mother and as my grandmother has always told me "this too shall pass"!! Not the tantrums but that moment!!
ReplyDeleteAs the mother of a 2 year old.. I know exactly how you feel. And it is always the people that dont have children that stare when your kid is screaming and you are trying to juggle them and a purse and shopping bags.
ReplyDeleteI have days when I just have to go in the other room and cry alittle... Ive come to accept that this is normal with the amazing yet difficult job of being a Mommy :)
Have a great weekend!!
I enjoy reading your blog- and seeing your great decorating skills :)
Bless your heart! I hope you are feeling better and Chad lets you rest this weekend! I don't have kiddos yet, but know my time will come for all of this. Hang in there! :)
ReplyDeleteOh, girl! I've been there. My 5 yr old use to throw some terrible tantrums, in public, of course. Landry is starting to do the same. Hang in there, it does get easier.
ReplyDeleteSo ironic to read your post because I just had a similiar incident happen in Michael's with my 2 & 1/2 year old son. He was being a turkey, and I was trying to get him out of the store with people giving me dirty looks. Many of them were middle-aged women which surprises me because you would think they would remember what it was like raising toddlers. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI can completely relate. I am sorry you have had such an awful week. Raising children is a tough job! Just have faith and everything will fall into place.
ReplyDeleteDear Ashley,
ReplyDeleteMy goodness, what a day you had. Every mommy has a moment like the one you described, they are never easy. I have a unique perspective I would like to share and have prayed on this, mostly that it would not come off as preachy or dismissive.
I am a pediatric oncology nurse. On Wednesday as you were struggling with your little precious one, I was caring for a beautiful little girl, just a few months older than your girl. She was dying. Tragically, I do this far too often. It occurred to me as I read though your post, that perhaps there is a way to blend these two experiences in a way that would make for a Godly parenting moment. For example, as she screams try thanking God for the breath in her lungs, as she throws herself on the floor, be grateful for energy and strong muscles, when she shouts your name and screams "no", be thankful for words in her mouth.
Perhaps in the gratitude there would be grace and this would center you allowing you the strength you need to endure and more importantly teach her. The painful truth of this story is as you were heading to the car, I was preparing this child for the morgue...I do not say this for shock value, sincerely I do not. It just occurred to me that as your mother says, this gratitude may help make these moments pass a little less painfully.
As I said, I hesitated and prayed deeply prior to commenting. I have far too often see an innocent commentor attacked by purported Chsitian woman and feared because my point of view could be perceived as dramatic, I might be opening myself to such cruelty. My intentions are honest though as I know how much you love your little girl and the Lord and I pray you will hear my words in the spirit in which they were intended.
God bless you and your darling one as you grow in faith and love. Wishing you the warmest of Christmas wishes.
Hang in there, and remember is just a phase.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the weekend.
I have a 6 yr old, 5 yr old, 2 1/2 yr old, and a 4 month old. I have been there countless times! It doesn't get easier either, I'm sorry to say. It cracks me up when we are out somewhere and my 2 1/2 yr old is having a fit and women will pat my arm and tell me - I've been there. I think we all have! As my Aunt once told me, you will always love your child, but there are days when you might not like his/her behavior. And it's okay - everyone feels that way whether they want to admit it or not! Just know that there are thousands of us there with you. Hope you feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteI don't comment often but had to one this one. My husband is a pilot and is gone 4-5 days a week and my daughter turned 2 at the end of October. I GET IT :) It's hard being solo. We don't have family close by that we see so it's even more difficult. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteThis happens to every good mom...you're most definitely not alone, you're just brave enough to share about it! I can see the love that you have for your adorable daughter shining through your blog and your writing and that is one of the main reasons that I love reading your blog! So glad to hear your week has gotten better!
ReplyDeleteBless your heart girl!!! (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteMy husband traveled 6-8 mths a yr up until abt 3 yrs ago. I FEEL YA!
I hope you are feeling better soon..I am on day 8 of being sick!!
Hope this weekend is a blessed one for you and your family.
xo
Oh girlie, all mothers have been there! Although it's been a couple years since I had one going through the "terrible 2's," I still vividly remember how rough it was. Just remember: It will get easier. Now, hand that cute little diva girl over to her daddy and go have some fun!
ReplyDeleteHI Ashley--Wondering if you might do a post on discipline. My baby is Avery's age, and a almost 6 yr old and a 14 yr old. I am very curious to see others ideas/what works/when they spank etc....
ReplyDeleteDiscipline lol the not fun part
Tina
Oh Ashley! As the mother of a 9 year old and 11 year old....I promise it does get better! Just remember, your sweet baby has bad days too and just doesn't know how to express her feelings yet, bless her heart! I feel for you! I've been there many times! Wait until she's 11 and starts pitching a fit over silly things like an Abercrombie and Fitch hoodie! HA!
ReplyDeleteJust know that every mommy has been there. Don't feel bad or embarrassed!!! I've had to walk out of stores too!!!
ReplyDeleteGirl I know exactly how you feel!! Weston is the same age as Avery and he acts the same way sometimes! I try not to let it affect the things I do but sometimes we dont even do things like go out to eat or go places cause I dont feel like battling it! But then you never know because sometimes they act like angels and you can have the best time OR they can go wild and make you feel crazy and you cant enjoy any of it! But you just never know! I know you know exactly what Im talking about!
ReplyDeleteAnd I just laughed when you said she threw her passy and it you couldnt find it, cause we still use soothies too (I havent seen many babies use them) and I swear they can roll for like a mile and you can never find them! Its funny but never funny while its happening though! ha!!
Glad your man is home!! :-)